So as I mentioned in the previous post I began painting at the end of January 2019. I basically discovered that I just needed to find my own form for painting. I love a graphic line and I love lots of color and shapes. I like to create with shapes. I've never been much for drawing and I feel like I can express myself best when i can cut out paper or cardboard. Even when I screen print I mainly print using stenciled shapes. So, I decided to use the same methods for painting as I was using for creating the cut out cardboard characters. I began by cutting pieces of cardboard to create a character or shape and then using it as a stencil for the painting. I guess it’s probably more like coloring in a coloring book. I layout the painting by drawing around each shape and then when it’s assembled I fill it in with color.

The painting below, called “This Love Lasts Forever” was created when I began to think about how we can hold onto the ones we love even after their passing. I was trying to create these beings that would always seem singular like they could always be identified as you or as part of your world. i thought about avatars and living forever inside the internet. I thought of these beings drifting through tubes and wires and living like microscopic water bears. This painting is about never losing someone you love. They’re part of you like stardust.

I hit a real five pitch once i realized that I could indeed actually paint and I began to create one painting after another rising early in the morning to work. These paintings are mainly about these clawed, humped and somewhat amphibious or alien robot creatures loving one another or falling through space.

I also began to post works on process on my Instagram which was a learning lesson. A lot of people responded to the half made works but then less to the fully realized pieces which could have something to do with the algorithm. However, the people who were commenting were people who’s tastes I very much trusted. It made me think that maybe I needed to leave things with a bit more space. My desire is to always fill the entire space. It just feels good. So, I’ve quit posting the half made pieces, but I still desire the compliments of my peers.

I feel like this sort of creating and then it immediately being presented to the world has happened to me before when I began to make Karen O’s costumes. I had just begun to experiment with making clothes and then suddenly they were in magazines. i look back on it now and it was almost like presenting your freshman year collection. The only difference is that when I was making those first prom dresses I was 26 and I was just kind of going for it like the rest of my friends. No one cared that I had no idea what I was doing and i though it was hilarious. Now I’m 45 and because i feel like I have an awareness of what makes good art i feel a deal more insecure, but fuck it. It’s better to put stuff out there and have it crushed or praised then hide it away.

This painting below has given me a great deal of insecurity because part of me feels that it’s too naive but another part really fucking loves it so much. I think what’s tripping me up is that it seems too joyful. Hahhahahaha! Why on earth would that ever be a problem? But how many really happy paintings have you seen? I can’t think of many. Anyway, this is one of the last paintings I’ve created in awhile. I’ve made others but none that I really love. I’ve been printing a lot. I loooove to print. I’ll talk about that the next time.